2. Do You Want To?

What you want really matters because your life is a story of your choices. The roads those you chose to travel makes you who you are. So, do you really want to adopt a dog? This is level 2. Level 1 was about you being ready. You might be wondering what’s the difference between the two. There’s a subtle but a deep difference. You may be ready for many things and you may be confused about your priorities. You might be ready for an experience but still you may not want it as much as you would want something else. Wanting is about getting or setting your priorities right. We want what we are ready for but we may be ready for many things and as such our wants can be categorised as degrees of desires.

The next logical question is how badly you want that puppy. Is it very important for you? Are you willing to juggle your priorities and put the puppy at the top? It mustn’t be a temporary fascination, but it should be a deep desire to connect, to care and not to compromise. It is not about having a breakup and moving on for the puppy will be emotionally dependent on you and we don’t abandon our children even when there are adjustment issues. You must realise that in this scenario moving on is not a viable option. Precisely that’s why you must know whether you really want to adopt. It is not child's play but full-fledged adult responsibility. Do you want all that? The decision once taken can of course be reversed back for there is no law preventing you from doing so. But (and there’s a big but) you mustn’t experiment with a living thing that thinks of you as its entire world. Abandonment is extremely traumatic for a dog and it is outright evil to force that upon your trusting, loyal and unsuspecting pet. I hope to be evil is not in your bucket list. If it is then may you be saved from your own perversion and may good sense prevail in your lost heart. That good sense will make you realise that a puppy or a dog is not a commodity or plaything to be disposed conveniently as per your emotional requirements.

If you decide to adopt then that is to embark on a journey till death for it is a matter of trust and unconditional love. There is a gulf of difference between desiring something and then going for a lifelong commitment. At times after a passage of a few days and months, after the honeymoon period, after new things attract our attention, after a reshuffling of priorities, a commitment may look boring and thus not very desirable but a burden, a shackle, a hurdle to our definition of our self. Therefore, it is always better to consider our possibilities before we decide to choose a way. We all love a puppy but then the puppy is not a soft toy. The kiss worthy puppy will eventually grow to be a big dog which can growl and bite, which can fall sick and make a real mess, which can demand our constant commitment and care. Do we really want that puppy to grow up? If yes, then we do want to adopt but if no then we better buy a soft toy, may be a teddy like that of Mr. Bean.

There is another aspect of the issue. We may have all the good intentions, but our work schedule and lifestyle may interfere with our commitment to our pet. Do we have time for our pet? Every day you would have to invest some quality time. Otherwise what’s the purpose of getting a pet? The time that I spend with my dog declutters my mind and recharges my heart with all that is bright and positive. The enthusiasm of a dog is infectious. The dog thrives in your attention and in return it gives you the crown of the master of its universe. Do you want that crown? Do you want to be the pack leader – the Alpha? Maybe you find all that leadership role-play too tiresome or too confusing. If so, then you must give up the idea of adopting a dog.

Here the big question to ask is whether you wish to be a leader, whether you want to be a leader. You and your dog are a team exploring the world together. Do you love that worldview? It is too romantic but do remember that that worldview has hidden terms and conditions for in that exploration together your dog won’t clean your poop, but you would be cleaning its. Then again leadership doesn’t mean the strength of the leash or the strength of your body but the strength of your look, intentions and words. You must also be pragmatic. Don’t treat your dog as a circus animal or as a human child but treat him as an essential pack member making the dog use its natural instincts. Try to understand that the worth of the leader lies in his or her ability to gauge correctly the aptitude and ability of the team members and then assign tasks as such so that the strengths and weaknesses of the team members complement each other and works for the team and not against it. The dog's trust on you will rest on your ability to be a good pack leader. To be a leader you need not inflict harsh punishment on the dog, you need not physically abuse the dog, you need not put the dog in a cage or put the dog on a leash but all you need is to understand the temperament of the dog and then build a routine around that temperament allowing the dog ample scope for self-expression and self-discovery.

Believe me it is not an easy task to be a pack leader. It demands rigorous self-discipline and in-depth self-understanding. If you have clarity about what exactly do you want with regard to a thing to be done in a particular circumstance or way, then you will have clarity in your expectations from your dog and then you will be in a position to relate to the dog those expectations in a language that the dog understands. So, three questions will help

1. What do you want?

2. How do you want?

3. How will your dog understand what you want?

Remember your dog is always open to your commands provided you have clarity in your commands, provided you have a developed structure, provided you understand your dog's understanding. So, you see it is not just about patting but a way lot complicated than that. Do you want to welcome all that complications in your life? If you want to welcome all that then you are welcome to be a pet parent.

At times while adopting people go into denial. They deny the fact that the puppy is one day going to be a big dog. A puppy looks cute and as it is small in size, it is easily manageable, but a big dog is not manageable. A puppy might find its place in your room but as it grows up you throw it out of your room and tie it in the yard 24x7 whatever may be the weather. That is outright cruelty and that does more harm to our heart than it does to the dog for we get conditioned to the fact that cruelty is okay because it is as per our convenience. Then it is a sad scenario for us for we actively build a world devoid of affection and then the very purpose of owning a dog becomes a self-defeating exercise for all we get out of the relationship is a morbid sense of irresponsible power and unaccountable authority becoming absolutely incapable of having a best friend from another species. So, reality check helps us to bridge that gap between what we wish for and what we really want. You may wish for a puppy and you may never want it to grow up. If such is your intention, then go for a soft toy and don’t adopt a puppy for it is not a commodity that can be conveniently disposed of.

Things can become really complicated if we don’t know ourselves. We may wish for love and affection but in reality, we may want subservient obedience. Discipline is a must for any dog but discipline achieved through physical abuse by strongly curbing the dog's natural instincts will not give you a happy dog but a dog afraid of you, and then you lose, for you no longer have a hunting partner but a bootlicking follower. Discipline achieved through a routine and an understanding of the dog's characteristics will work best to your own benefit for that will give you a confident and happy pet looking forward to your company and to your leadership and not to your dictatorship. Such a pet will fight for you, will protect you and will give you its unquestioned devotion. But all that won’t have magically. Believe me you don’t even need your dog to be trained by a professional trainer. You yourself can do that by observation, by awareness and by understanding of the needs of the dog. Do you have time for all that? Do you have the patience? Are you capable of bringing about positive behavioural change in the dogs behaviour by means of stimulus response theory of learning? Are you willing and wanting to be not only a leader but a teacher to your dog? If yes, then of course go forward and adopt that puppy which you have always wanted to, for you do truly deserve its trust, its loyalty, its care, its love and above all its unique soothing impact in calming your emotional stress. If you don’t just wish but really want, then you are worthy of your pet, of that bond which made a dog out of a wolf, which made a partner out of a competitor, which made a strength out of a threat.